Database Definition and DBMS

SOCIAL INTELLIGENCE

from: tutorialspoint.com/social_intelligence/index.htm 

Social Intelligence is the human Capacity to use our brains to effectively navigate through complex emotional situations and negotiate different social relationships.

It is an ability that helps us adjust according to different working environments.

In this world two individuals are born distinct from each other, and are different in their ways of thinking and interpreting the world. So this is the reason behind difference of opinions.

Even with difference of opinions and unique ways of looking at problems, we can’t deny the fact that we are all social beings and we have to interact with others. we need to grow and relate to others for growth, knowledge, awareness and survival. This process of interacting with different people teaches us the essential skill of adaption. We learn to make adjustments in our lifestyle by relating to other people. We need to adapt constantly under various situations to sustain and maintain our relationships. Our self-confidence, self-esteem , and self- awareness are all influenced by our interactions with other people.

What is Social Intelligence?

Human Ability of Decoding the happenings of the world and responding to it likewise. Social intelligence is also the capability to act wisely while maintaining human relations.

Types of Intelligence:

i.             Abstract intelligence: understanding non-verbal ideas and expressing them verbally.

ii.            Mechanical Intelligence: understand how a machine works or what would make a specific machine work

iii.           Social Intelligence: found in successful managers and marketing people. They know how to find their own in group of people and they are always ready with proper responses to every query. In other words, they know how to be the people’s person.

Social Intelligence also known as Interpersonal Intelligence.

Importance of Social Intelligence:

i.             Used to grow in career

ii.            More friends, more relationships and know how to nurture a relationship.

We live in society and come in contact with people with different thoughts and personalities every day. While meeting these people with different social and psychological, characteristics, we experience happiness, sorrow, misunderstandings, agreements, quarrels, and other different emotions.

If we don’t know how to handle these feelings , we will tend to avoid these people who make us feel uncomfortable. That in turn, will make us appear unfriendly to those people, many of whom could be important people in our lives.

Applying Social Intelligence:

EQ and IQ:

Emotional Quotient, Intelligence Quotient.

A person’s IQ tells us his level of intelligence and information processing speed, it is person’s EQ that puts him in control of his feelings and teaches him to handle complex situations.

Being flexible increases your understanding power and helps you develop smooth and productive working relationships with co-workers.

Book: Social Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

The manner in which a person can influence others through his physical appearance, mood, body language , even the space he occupies in the room has a bearing upon the others and are clues to the way the person desires to be talked to, listened to, and respected.

A socially intelligent person knows that empathizing with them is just feeding to their negative self-esteem, hence he will steer clear of getting too involved in giving suggestions to them. On the contrary, he will stick to the point and send polite reminders about the work that needs to be done.

Body Language Work Sheet:

S.I.	Non-verbal Actions	Interpretations
1.	Smiling
2.	Smiling with raised eyebrows
3.	Rolling eyes with smiling
4.	Rolling eyes without smiling
5.	Shrugging shoulders while answering a question
6.	Shrugging shoulders while asking a question
7.	Stretching your arms sideways while speaking
8.	Looking down while saying something
9.	Hand held up with palm facing you
10.	Hands with palm facing down while explaining
11.	Waving to someone
12.	Tapping someone on the shoulders
13.	Holding someone’s hand
14.	Standing close to someone
15.	Winking at a friend
16.	Crossing arms while taking feedback
17.	Shaking hands without a firm grip
18.	Yawning while listening to someone
19.	Drumming table with fingers, waiting for lunch
20.	Placing hand over mouth on hearing something
21.	Swinging feet and tapping feet to music
22.	Crossing legs while in a meeting
23.	Nodding the head up and down while listening
24.	Turning the head side to side while listening
25.	Whistling while walking alone
26.	Clapping on listening to something
27.	Scratching your head when asked a question
28.	Showing an outstretched palm to a speeding car
29.	Wagging one foot while keeping it on a knee
30.	Raising hand inside a classroom
31.	Looking elsewhere when someone talks to you
32.	Keeping hands in your pocket while talking
33.	Rubbing the neck when asked about something
34.	Cracking fingers while at work
35.	Looking around waiting in the reception area

Emotional Quotient:

Experts identified a few core competencies that enhanced an individual’s Emotional Quotient and his aptitude for successful business. They are as follows 

i.             Self-Awareness:

This is the ability to recognize your feelings and understand your emotional reactions, and how they influence your behavior and performance. It helps people get an idea of the perception they create in other people’s minds. A self-aware person is both confident of his own abilities and mindful of his current limitations.

ii.            Handling emotions − People who know how to manage their feelings can keep calm under tremendous emotional pressure. This is essential to develop as a responsible employee who doesn’t shirk away from being held accountable for the team’s performance. This prevents them from taking hasty decisions which they might regret later.

iii.           Self-motivation − The ability to motivate yourself in face of adversity is the hallmark of a perseverant individual. People who can put a positive spin on their negative emotions and end up as performers are prized in organizations.

iv.           Empathy − Empathy is the quality of putting yourself in other people’s shoes and knowing where the shoe pinches. Understanding the problems of others by thinking of them as your own will not only help you in earning their respect but also taking a just decision.

v.            Resilience − In today’s world, resilience is a very important quality to have. Someone who can beat all the odds through his perseverance is a winner all the way. A resilient person can adapt to a changing environment and have a broad vision to understand the trends that are going to be followed.

EQ : Questionnaire:

This self-assessment questionnaire is designed to engage you in finding out your key emotional intelligence traits and your Emotional Quotient. Try to stay as emotionally neutral as possible while you attempt this questionnaire; your selection of answers will change depending on the mood you are in while answering the questions.

·        Score 1 = Statement never applies to you.

·        Score 3 = Statement sometimes apples to you.

·        Score 5 = Statement always applies to you.

S.I.	Statements to Consider	1	2	3	4	5
1.	I immediately know when I become angry.
2.	I can handle bad situations fast.
3.	I am self-motivating.
4.	I see the problem someone faces from his point of view.
5.	I have good listening skills.
6.	I know when I am in a good mood.
7.	I have a control on my emotions.
8.	I can prioritize between a set of important tasks.
9.	I easily empathize with others when I listen to their issues.
10.	I always let other complete their sentences before I speak.
11.	I like knowing new people and making new friends.
12.	I realize when I am feeling stress.
13.	Others find it difficult to know my mood.
14.	I am good at meeting deadlines.
15.	I immediately know when someone is unhappy with me.
16.	I am good at meeting with different type of people.
17.	I can recognize my emotions.
18.	I rarely lose my temper when dealing with difficult people.
19.	I always utilize time.
20.	I can tell when people are not getting along well.
21.	I like interacting with people and talking to them.
22.	I can know when and why I am anxious.
23.	I don’t get annoyed with difficult people.
24.	I do not give ambiguous messages or signals.
25.	I realize when people start being unreasonable with me.
26.	I realize when I am being difficult.
27.	I can change my mood when I want to.
28.	I always do the most difficult work first.
29.	I realize that people will have different working styles.
30.	I need interesting colleagues to make my job interesting.
31.	I always like to be aware of my emotions.
32.	I don’t let stressful situations affect me or my work.
33.	I like bigger rewards later compared to small, instant ones.
34.	I realize immediately if I am being unreasonable.
35.	I like to ask questions to people to understand them.
36.	I speak out if someone has upset or annoyed me.
37.	I rarely worry about life or work.
38.	I believe in instant action.
39.	I realize the reasons behind my action hurting people.
40.	I look at working with difficult people as a challenge.
41.	I can quickly control and manage my anger.
42.	I can suppress my emotions as per my will.
43.	I can motivate myself for better things while struggling.
44.	I can understand things people are trying to tell me.
45.	I am good at ending differences with others.
46.	I can describe things that make me happy.
47.	Others don’t realize how I am feeling.
48.	Getting motivated has made me successful.
49.	I always know the reason that started the disagreement.
50.	I build strong relationships with those I work with.

In the following table, you need to put down the scores you gave yourself against that specific question number. For example, if the score you gave in response to statement number 1 was 5, then write 5 beside 1. Complete the table and tally the totals for each column at the end of the table.

Self-awareness		Handling Emotions		Self-motivation		Using Empathy		Practicing Resilience
Scores		Scores		Scores		Scores		Scores
1		2		3		4		5
6		7		8		9		10
11		12		13		14		15
16		17		18		19		20
21		22		23		24		25
26		27		28		29		30
31		32		33		34		35
36		37		38		39		40
41		42		43		44		45
46		47		48		49		50
Total		Total		Total		Total		Total

·        If score between 35-50 This area is your strength

•  

·        If score between 18-34 You need to improve in this area.

•  

·        If score between 0-17 You need to give immediate attention to this.

High Social Intelligence:

They always know how to put important concepts, ideas, or situations in front of others in a concise, clear, and objective manner. This helps them in putting an honest impression in the minds of their listeners, while bringing the focus on the task in hand. At a time when getting more messages across consistently is becoming the need of the hour, having the skill of making efficient and specific communication with others is a big advantage.

Another ability that people with good social intelligence have is to be able to use language that can express tough feedback and criticism in a more palatable manner. Nobody generally likes to face criticism, as they consider it to be a judgment on their efforts. So an employee needs to be properly conditioned to accept criticism in a positive manner, however giving criticism in a positive manner in itself is an art that requires great practice and right choice of words.

How a Socially Intelligent Behave:

Socially intelligent people have the ability to know how to monitor their language in such a manner that it avoids any conflict in the minds of the listeners. They can identify words that might create misunderstanding and steer clear of these ambiguous words.

A person with Social Intelligence knows that using the ‘I’ statements will show the employee the issues that the manager is facing and what he is forced to deal with, and also makes the person being spoken to sensitive to the issues. Using neutral language will send a positive signal of mutual respect to the listener and a willingness to acknowledge a different point of view.

Sample the following conversations −

·        Case 1 Team Manager to employee − "You are always coming late and giving excuses. Your output has been very low this month and your performance is nothing to write home about. You have not delivered anything last month and now you face termination from the company."

·        Case 2 Team Manager to employee − "I am concerned about how I am going to put good numbers on the board this month, as I haven’t yet received the productivity that I was expecting. I am also thinking seriously about the punctuality issue of our team and how that is making us lose productivity. The performance of our team last year was also not satisfactory and I am under pressure to trim off those from the team who are not pulling their weight.”

People who haven’t acquired clarity in speech tend to speak in a cluttered, rambling manner which clearly suggests that they haven’t yet learnt how to process and filter their thoughts. A carefully constructed conversational strategy requires the proper usage of words and also the proper intonation.

Influencing others needs information to be presented in such a manner that can be easily processed. It’s also important to present the right picture. Before giving a statement, it’s always advisable to ask yourself − Do you say what you mean and mean what you say?

Effect of EQ on Listeners:

The human brain can process 500 words in one minute of speech, however most people have a rate of speech of only 150 words per minute. This means,  we have dead-air in our speech that occupies the time of 350 words.

It’s interesting to note that the people who are considered to be attention-grabbing and persuasive are those who can utilize this dead-air time in such a way that the listener doesn’t get an opportunity to get distracted by any other input.

Dropping one shoe is one of the methods that skillful talkers use to set up the expectation of what the listeners are about to hear. This is an effective method of conditioning people properly so that they can get themselves prepared for some news or information that they otherwise would have felt shocked in listening. It involves a rather simple technique of asking a provocative question in the beginning of the presentation.

While the listeners are now thinking of the various possibilities of answers of that questions, you start discussing key points that give a clearer picture on the posed question. These points must be arranged in a sequential manner and must lead to the final picture by dropping knowledge in the right places for people to be able to draw a clear idea. The listener who at this point is thinking about the question, and is looking for an answer will automatically be drawn towards the presentation in his search for an explanation. This increases attention-retention and the message gets clearly absorbed too.

Telgraphing:

Many talented speakers start their presentation by saying something interesting and attention-grabbing like, You won’t believe what happened yesterday.... This is called Telegraphing − a foreshadowing method that gets people in the mental frame to participate in a conversation. It gets the listener to think about the topic and form expectations for the conversation.

Pyramid Strategy:

Another very efficient technique to use around people who lead teams and feel the need to follow a structure is called the Pyramid Strategy. It is used as a clarification strategy and is used a lot in media to provide a structured information to the readers and listeners. It involves giving a quick snapshot of the information, provided by giving fast and detailed information that builds on the initial information.

Examples of these methods are saying to a group of people, Okay, guys. Here’s what we are going to do. And then, join the actions that are supposed to be taken in parts or phases that are added in a sequential manner to the original pitch. This method works well with big teams, where the listeners get a mental comfort in knowing that they don’t have to analyze things and the speaker is giving them a workflow in a specific order.

Helicopter Speech:

A new speech technique that is fast becoming famous is called the helicopter speech. Proponents of this speech technique believe that just like proper intonation of speech sounds musical to the ears of the listener, properly intonated thoughts also feel pleasant to the thinkers.

People who practice helicopter speech start by providing a positive picture of the proposal, say an investment opportunity. Then they will follow it with a low (the risks of the investment). They will now give a positive idea, also called an ‘up’ (statistics on the number of people who have benefitted from the investment) closely followed by another ‘low’ (people who have lost money) which is again followed by an up (“risks are a part of investments and those who take calculated risks are the ones who win.”).

This gives a balanced, matter-of-fact and neutral tone to your speech. The listener will get the impression that you have given him a fair assessment and will respect that you have given him an honest, factual presentation. Many salespersons and investment bankers who practice the helicopter speech have reported a higher number of positive outcomes in their presentations and proposals, as compared to those who are pushy and try their best to sell the product.

One can also start describing the big picture and make additions of the details that the listener wants to hear and learn about. These mental images play a very powerful role in influencing a person’s thoughts. This is why leading speakers advise against the usage of cut-and-dry words and bring in more metaphors in speech that provide more scope for imagination, but only when trying to sell an idea or a concept to the listeners.

Facts must be presented with concrete data, however while trying to express a thought or a concept, allowing more space to the people to imagine is considered a good idea. They stimulate the sensory associations of people and invite him to use his senses to visualize the entire scenario.

Instead of using the sentence, He is an architect, one might introduce someone by saying, He designs buildings. By using this sentence structure, you are not assigning the person to any specific category, thereby saving him from answering any stereotypical questions related to his profession. In other words, it’s about respecting the individuality of a person without having to relegate him to any background.

Similarly, when someone says, it’s a stupid idea, he is subconsciously berating the person who proposed that idea, irrespective of the fact that the decision might not really have been that bright. A much better way of saying the same thing without hurting any sentiments and drawing the focus straight to the idea instead is to say, That’s a nice input. How about we discuss these areas that might not work here? This statement is not only thanking the person because he took the proactive initiative to contribute to the discussion, but also drawing his attention towards the areas of improvement in his plan so that he can work upon it. A person addressed in such a manner will feel involved in the process and also work out the errors or faults in his idea, instead of taking it personally and stop being a contributing employee.

There is no plan that cannot be improved upon, and sometimes it needs more than one point of view to understand the ways a plan can be worked upon to accommodate all interests. It’s always advisable to be more collaborative that competitive when planning a strategy in a time-bound situation, as improving upon an idea is much better than bringing wholly different ideas to the table.

Empathy as managerial Tool:

Empathy is defined as “a state of positive feeling between two people, leading to one person visualizing the problems of the other person as his own, and offering advice or help accordingly.” Building strong and lasting relationships come with practicing the act of empathizing with people and understanding their problems. Gaining the personal trust and maintaining relationships should go beyond the need of practical benefits, and be thought of as a part of life. A good manager doesn’t see his team-members as assets and numbers. He relates to them as friends and genuinely loves to listen to their problems.

Getting into a comfortable working relationship with someone is all about understanding what they are, what their needs are, and how they view certain things. It’s also about knowing their priorities and how they are dedicated towards meeting them. Social Intelligence teaches us to view people as pieces of jigsaw puzzle that don’t give a clear picture just by themselves, if you put all of them in the same place. To make them look like a whole, the puzzle pieces need to be fit in their right places, so that the entire picture can be seen.

Conclusion:

Social Intelligence is not an innate quality. It’s not something people are either born with, or are not, in fact there have been many people who were born socially awkward but then went on to become prolific speakers and actors. This proves that you don’t have to be blessed to become a socially intelligent person. All you have to do is practice the right things and keep applying them at the right time.

In today’s world, it’s extremely important that people realize the importance of effective communication, which is very different from just communication. Communication is the transfer of information and ideas, but effective communication is the transfer of ideas in such a manner that it influences and impresses upon the listeners.

We would all love to be a persuasive speakers and a great negotiators. All it takes is an interest in meeting new people and being genuinely interested in knowing things about them. We hope that after reading this tutorial, you have received a clear idea on how to be that speaker that everyone wants to listen to. Remember, all it takes is a bit of practice.